Following their 12 goal thriller against Springwood, the Blue and White Wizards were eager to continue their goal blast against the surprisingly faltering Handsworth White Rose who before the game were one place above the Hearts. The Hearts massive following were not to be left disappointed. 

Again it was all change in the Hearts line-up with Matt Cutts between the sticks replacing Big Nev who was still in a daze from Tuesday night’s shenanigans. Referee for the day and everyone’s favourite, Lloyd Bridges, star of ‘Airplane’ took charge of the match not allowing the start to be delayed resulting in N64 making his appearance in the traditional style that we have all come accustomed to. Joe tipped up just in time for the half time oranges. Another late “comer” on the day was the Crazy Dutch Superstar who decided to show up having just returned from New York, his first task was to provide physiotherapy advice to 3 of the subs, Manager Linnell (Ruptured Alice Band) Micky K (Sun tan burns) and “Phileas Fog” Taylor (jet lag).  

The opening stages of the game were quite even but it was the Hearts who were the deadlier in front of goal racing into 2 goal lead thanks to 2 Cartridge assisted goals (although GOM can confirm both were personal efforts on goal gone wrong), setting up Bum for a classy brace. Handsworth responded for the majority of the first half after that, even with the assistance of Slocombe who was still so hungover and having placed his boots on the wrong feet, set up a couple of attacks for the visitors. It was down to the agility of Cutts in goal who kept the hearts 2 goal cushion with a string of fine saves.

Things got even better for the Hearts just before the break as Cartridge opened his account to give the Home team a 3-0 lead at the Break. 

Half time: Hearts 3 HWR 0 

Manager Linnell, who’s half time team talks have played a familiar tune for the last month, complained to his players that they had not even got started and were lucky to be winning by such a margin. 

The second half was a similar story to the first with White Rose having more possession but without much luck in front of goal, the Hearts changed their style without instructions from Manager Linnell to go more direct which led to more goals with Captain Cartridge grabbing a second half hat trick, the highlight of which was the second (his third) a blistering first time strike which literally ripped the corner of the net out after a great lay off from Bum.  

The White Rose defenders got repeatedly raped and pillaged by Cartridge and Bum as they went about their goal feast with all the gluttony of Henry VIII at a banquet. There were other decent openings for the Hearts but on one occasion instead of playing Cartridge in, Bum opted for the ‘Orbit’ pass into space, which was a wiser move. Straight away, he was substituted by Taylor. The bookies made a ’killing’ on the ‘Steven Belk Injury Forcing Substitution sweepstake’ with the Peruvian Love God being replaced as late as the second half!!! Micky K replaced the unfortunate hamstring fanatic. 

White Rose grabbed a couple of goals towards the end of the game, also for a bit better finishing in front of goal on other occasions the score could have been a lot closer. 

Full Time : Hearts 6 HWR 2 

Sacred Heart : Cutts, Wooffinden, Slocombe, Ntiedu, Hilton, Connelly, White (Andresson), Oliver, Belk(Kensington), Cartridge, Alcock (Taylor), All Subs used and Abused. 

Handsworth White Rose : Kenny, Bromby, Jagielka, Morgan, Wright, Quinn, Tonge, Thirlwell, Montgomery, Gray, Kabba